missbest

There's A Lot. I am not. Certain of.

2011-01-07T13:15:00.003-05:00

I really need this job. Please God I need this job. I've got to get this job!

Sound familiar? This here post is taking the extreme risk of being dorkiest thing I have ever written, by far the most esoteric, and places a large amount of trust in the reader's imagination, creativity, and willingness to play. I should just drop the idea entirely, however, as it will soon be made into a Sundance hit, and I will (at last!) be able to marry my two passions, education and acting, I thought we would like to play a little, "you heard it hear first." Stay tuned for the office-esque faux documentary about Principal's school where people break into song. It's gonna be awesome.

Ever see "A Chorus Line"? It's brilliant. It has always been one of my top five most favorite musicals of all time (Tommy, Blood Brothers, Rent, A Chorus Line, Falsettos) A brief synopsis: 17 dancers audition for 8 spots in the chorus of a musical - 4 guys and 4 girls (not 44!). Everyone can dance, of course, these are the best 17 who auditioned, but now Zach, the director, wants to know who people are. Their history, their passions, their shame. THIS! is what makes a good chorus line! REALLY knowing, deep down how they will work together as a team to support fictional stars of a fictional show. Of course, along the way, we learn about the myriad experiences of these brutally interesting and amazing people through song and dance, tears and laughs.

So, here is where I will lose people, because unless you know the characters really well and know what they sing and do, the following analogy could get cloudy.

Principal's school at the New York Leadership Academy is just like A Chorus Line. Exactly the same thing. In fact, I am often catching myself mouth agape when people say things like "I felt nothing" or "imagine me, a teacher? shit."

Let's start with the most inconsequential character: Connie. 4'10" That's the story of her life. She used to hang from a bar. hoping to stretch. just an inch more. Do you know the emotional implications of this? The Connie in my group, though not Asian, (which matters: race matters) also suffers from often debilitating low self esteem as a result of shortness, will definitely not be a Principal next year, or maybe ever, because people can't take her seriously because she can't take herself seriously. Connie doesn't make the line at the end. She's too short.

There is also the Morales. Young, Puerto Rican, strong, interesting, tomboy. She needs to speak her own language- Dance (and Spanish? she speaks to Paul in Spanish, at emotional points) and not the language of Mr. Karp- her white oppressor. These women can speak perfect English but they can really only communicate their emotions in Spanish. We had about three of these such women in our group. They, like Morales, will make the line of Principal's next year because they'd do anything for love. No regrets.

Character by character matchups are aplenty, and wildly entertaining, but the best is when our Zach decides to drop the real shit: his versions of "What will you do when you can't dance anymore?" In ACL this emotional question brings the heat. It forces people to reflect, be honest, and yet, say what they should in order to make the line. In NYLA it does the same, or attempts to. Would you accept the same work from white middle class students as you do from your students? Meghan, do you think George would be a good Principal? If you see three young Black men walking down the sidewalk with their hoods on, do you cross the street? Damn "Zach" - why you gotta be so real right now? Paul just broke his leg! Cassie is crying (and what, she has drugs? weird).

I'm not exactly sure my role. Of course, I fancy myself Cassie- I don't fit in, I am too good, too untouchable, look good in red. But of course this is not so. I hope I am viewed as Judy- fierce but kind of outspoken and jocular. Unfortunately, I think my mark is more like Shiela. A bitch. Val is a bitch too, but she is likable and hot- and she makes the line. So, I will be her.

Of course, the best question is why does any of this happen? Does sharing feelings and stories make these dancers more talented or better suited for Broadway performing? Is constant criticism and talking and sharing opinions that are often hurtful the best way to determine who is ready for the Principalship? Obviously the answer to both is: no. But it is wildly entertaining.

The case of the ancient blackboard

2010-10-13T14:28:00.004-04:00

Tuesday of last week I walked into my classroom and there was a whiteboard attached to one of my side by side blackboards. My classroom seemed so modern all of the sudden. I could tell by the rush job and the fact that I could peer behind the whiteboard from one side -the side that still left a blackboard, well, greenboard, exposed- that they didn't erase anything that I had written on the board. They just hung the board on top of it- I don't remember what was written there, and it didn't really matter because the side they didn't cover up is the side where I write the list of assignments for the week, the agenda for the day and week, and announcements I don't want to forget to tell the students.

Yesterday morning I walked into my classroom and the other chalkboard was covered with a new whiteboard. We were all pretty excited - it looks nicer, the kids felt loved, etc. I was a little concerned about the fact that I couldn't remember the announcements I had up there, but otherwise, pretty impressed and excited by my venture into this century.

My student and I were laughing about how funny it will be when they take down the white board in 30 years and see our daily agenda and homework assignments. We will be so embarrassed, we thought, about how archaic our lives will seem to these modern people who might not even know what a chalkboard is. We laughed and, as a class, discussed what we would have seen on a board that hadn't been erased for 30 years- it was fun.

But then, of course, I got sad. Why do we think things will get better? I mean, it was fun to talk about the content that would be written on the board, but the reality is, stuff is still getting written on the board in the same way it has been for over 150 years. How could we so innocently imagine that things will change so drastically by then?

This is coming at a time when this is presented as a solution and this is presented as a problem. And even my smartest, most accomplished and easy going students seem disappointed when you look in their eyes. Is this blackboard-centric-testing-obsessed-fear-driven system the best we can come up with for them?

Why is my school even investing in a brand new whiteboard to begin with? While I might try to expound on some symbolism about starting fresh, modernizing, moving forward, the truth is, in my class we don't need or want the white board. (We could use some internet on two computers, the wires that hook up any computer to the printer that just sits there, some new reading books, some snacks, a trip to the statue of liberty- if you are wondering) I see this board as another uninteresting substitution for progress that is neither rooted in research nor cultural history and it doesn't make one bit of difference.

And all of the photographs of all of the experiences we had over the past two years were ripped off the walls so that the whiteboard could be properly attached.

The Data-Less Definite

2010-05-21T12:15:00.000-04:00

The DOE has bad PR. Granted, I don’t actually know what PR is because I have never done anything in this world besides go to school, but I still feel confident with this assessment. It’s clear, to me and my colleagues anyway, that No Child Left Behind, and the government’s emphasis on standardized assessment, is doing very little to educate the students, and yet, it is these very test scores that star in the articles, books, and documentaries about urban education. Every other profession- from Hollywood to Wall Street– knows how to flaunt their assets, regardless of how real the evidence is to support their stature.

With education, you can’t do that. You need to be able to back up every statement with data. Data measuring attendance, test scores, reading levels, math levels, aptitude, improvement, etc. If you can’t back it up, it doesn’t exist. This is even true at basic faculty meetings, and I am not kidding.

Here I would like to present a data-less definite. I will not attempt to justify my lack of data, as uncomfortable as that makes me, and probably makes you, too. You will have to trust that my experience is true and that I am conveying it clearly – an effort we make for politicians, business leaders, and celebrities all of the time – but can’t quite support when it comes to teachers and education. Get ready for it: Our school is working.

I try and tell this to anyone who will listen. Our school is working. I can only compare it to schools I have previously worked at: my observation semester at Central Park East High School, my observation semester at Richard Green High School, my student teaching semester at Washington Irving High School and my 4 years teaching experience at Automotive High School. These schools have certain things in common. They have a traditional style of learning, as in, they have eight or nine 45 minute blocks in core subjects. They are large schools, both physically, and in regards to student population. They teach to regents and other assessments, require generic assignments such as essays, quizzes, etc. Pretty much what your high school probably was.

Our school is different. To begin with, it is small, only 109 enrolled. Additionally, it is a project based, internship-based school. These two characteristics combined make it impossible to not differentiate instruction for each student. Using a learning plan, a document designed to outline a student’s individual potential semester learning, the students work with their teachers and mentors to create a truly original learning experience every semester.

There are multiple problems plaguing inner-city schools (I use the term inner-city on purpose- everyone has a vision of a horrible movie about kids who can’t read, are in gangs, and throw stuff, and actually, minus the insincerity of terrible acting, that’s exactly what it is like) but they all come from one problem- Bad families. When babies make babies they are malnourished, leading to significant delay in brain growth, early function, reading, demeanor, and ability to concentrate. This also often leads to diabetes and other health problems such as apathy and complacency. Young mothers generally continue the sad and vicious cycle of poverty that usually claims most of our young people by 17, if not sooner. There is usually one parent, if that many, or foster parents, who tend to lean towards the irresponsible side, or there are so many people sharing one house that there is no time/space to sleep, let alone read, or think. I am not the first person to realize this, indeed Geoffrey Canady is making things happen up in Harlem already, but this is theissue I will never understand: why spend government money creating and executing assessment after assessment for a population that is never going to pass them, when you can spend the money working on the community so that, eventually, they can?

Here, we are family. I have my group of freshmen all. day. long. And I will be their teacher for four years. I know them, I know their parents, I know their Aunts, and I have all of their numbers in my phone. We email, we text, we call each other with questions. Every teacher and administrator knows every single student, and probably, where their internship is and what their project is. These kids get some real love, real food, real expectations, and consistent support.

They also get a mentor. We love the mentors. The students love the mentors. Why doesn’t everyone just get a mentor? These mentors are people who volunteer; generally have little to no idea what they are doing in this program, and just feel a desire to help out a little. They range in age, race, educational attainment, and involvement and they are consistently there for the students. It’s amazing to witness the growth of a mentor, their application of empathy, their love for the student, and their confidence with communication. It often matches, if not laps, the growth of our students. Even though the role of the mentor is clear: to show a student how a professional who is passionate about their job acts, works, and behaves, I think subconsciously they teach the students that it is OK to try something that you are uncertain about and that you really never stop growing and learning.

As a result of all of this, I can clearly see freshmen speaking more confidently than their peers at other schools, writing more, handing in more assignments, communicating with adults and with each other, understanding that the city is more than Brooklyn, that they can get involved in things that maybe their families or neighbors aren’t, and that they can think for themselves. I see this, I read this, I hear them speak this every day.

So here is the kicker: we must also prepare our students to pass the Regents. And for what? There are failing schools all over the place, incapable of getting passing grades on mandated assessments, and we just keep hoping it will get better? My Uncle Patrick says the definition of insanity is making the same decision over and over and expecting a different result. Is this not the current state of education? Here we find successes that most inner-city youth never experience and we are going to throw it away to make them regurgitate facts about why the articles of confederation failed?

This entire argument is not new, there is nothing original here. But, I am not exaggerating when I say that for the past 7 years I have felt anger and frustration about this system every single day as if I had just heard this as news. And there are a million feelings associated with that. But mostly, I just wanted to spread some good news, get some good PR for the DOE and encourage people to spread the word: there is an unmeasurable amount of learning happening in Brooklyn.

Appreciation(s)

2010-05-07T11:42:00.005-04:00

Some awesome samples of appreciation essays. The first was written by a boy just emigrated from Jamaica last summer, the second by another freshmen. Both awesome. I love when weird, underdeveloped writing becomes awesome interesting and unconventional.

The wind blowing though my hair, I am running and chasing after the ball. I love this game like it is my family. Cricket is the name of the game and the best game I have ever played. Why I love this is because I love to run and feel the wind in my ears. It reminds me of when I was a child.

Most of my family loves this game that’s why I’m so interested. Every time I watch it I think about them jumping and yelling like they are letting out their inner child.

What we do is we get some food and drinks. So, everybody comes and sits around the TV and sometimes we put the TV out on the veranda. Our neighbors and friends would come and enjoy themselves. Sometimes, they would jump and scream at top of their voice. The best part is that when they are watching the game they don’t act their age they act like they are in their 20’s or younger. So every time I play it brings me back home and I feel like I’m still with them.

So sometimes when I am playing the game I always think of them cheering and jumping. Most of the time I miss being with them and want to go back home. Why people should care is because when I talk to them I cry and it’s like the town don’t have as much vibes as it used to because I was one of the well known people there and everybody used to look out for me and stuff like that so that’s why they should care.

and

The park is where everything happens: drugs, kids play, the amazing fight, and my favorite - BASKETBALL. The sound of the little kid screaming and playing the smell of fresh but sea type water. The yelling of the drug dealers that play craps all day (yeah boy dats my lucky dice… now where my money). They play all day till the sun goes down.

The rhythm of the ball hitting the floor. The random color backboards constantly painted. The constant replacing of $2 wax nets. The feeling of winning a mini tournament. Watching the best players going head to head. The memories of me and my brother playing basketball. The amazing memories of the first time I beat my brother at basketball, the first time I shot a jump shot, the first time I kicked a ball, and when I first had a fight. I love to embrace the feeling of winning a game, fighting, and dancing around. I love to rub my winnings in the loser’s faces.

The night life of the park is like a night in New Orleans- people dance, sing, drum, and grill. On holidays they light up the sky with fire crackers and the police fire their rifles in the sky. Even the greatest players come outside at night to practice and get better. The worst part is to be in the park after blackouts parties or a big fight (arguments). Most fights are just people who want to box, and kick box, wrestle, and karate that just want to show off.

elementary school/thoughts

2010-05-07T11:38:00.004-04:00

I went to visit one of my students at his internship at an elementary school is Bushwick. He is in a second grade classroom and he helps the teacher. He is also working with the Auto drum line and the music teacher to create an after school music program for 10-15 students. I met with the principal yesterday, a lovely Irish woman, Ms. Green, who said that she is excited about this program - a refreshing outlook.

The lesson in the elementary class was on clocks. Learning how to read analog is complicated- so complicated, in fact, that most of my students still don't know how to do it. Unfortunately, in true traditional classroom fashion, after 10 minutes the kids are throwing coins, pencils, anything possible. That never changes.

Can we harp on pencils for a moment? It is so cute to see second graders sharpening pencils- such an earnest interpretation of what it means to be a serious student. I also enjoy the table of capri suns that the kids sip intermittently, not allowed to risk spillage at their own desks.

The elementary school model is pretty much ideal: One teacher gets to know the students academic and personal strengths and weaknesses, can differentiate accordingly, has time to have fun (fun in my class this morning was doing a quick billboard top ten writing exercise while blasting the top ten on the computer).

SPEAKING of elementary... went on an interview for a principal's leadership program last night. I was the youngest person by about 15 years, and listened to some elementary ideals about education, my favorite being, "Why reinvent the wheel? we have scantron machines, more assessment, more data, why not?" who wouldn't want to work for this man? Why are people so unwilling to accept the reality that our schools don't work they way they are? it is as frustrating as someone stealing my fruit snacks.

New York Appreciation

2010-05-03T14:06:00.003-04:00

After completing Bodega Dreams, by Ernesto Quinones, which can be described as a love letter to Spanish Harlem, I gave my students the challenge of writing their own, cliche free, love letter to a place in New York that they love. I extend the invitation to anyone reading this: your entry could be part of our collection.

The students needs to appeal to all 5 senses and practice writing in figurative language using simile, metaphor, symbolism or whatever.

My model is below and is based on the best school in Brooklyn:

Frances Perkins Academy

The taste of coffee mixes mildly on my tongue with chalk dust and must as I write the warm up on the board. The lack of new chalk increases my anxiety about hearing, feeling fingernails on the chalkboard- a fear I share with generations of teachers before me. The warm up is ready, as are the three of eighteen of my students who have made it to school on time today.

The morning is spent reading, writing, forcing people out of extended sleepiness. I can see some people frustrated, and others calmed, to be in this awkward environment. For me, it’s awkward and scary too- the responsibilities and expectations far-surpassing my previous years of education. I am a child again- nervous and excited on my first day of soccer practice: will I be any good? Will I like my team? Will they like me?

Sure there are strong smells of body odor and too much axe but the ancient smell of this building looms larger, a historic monstrosity, a hint of grandness. The tradition of education is challenged here, in the brawls with the other school and the brawls with the general accepted educational philosophy. In the battle of tradition and excellence, we are lightweights in our first round against the heavyweight champion.

I hear the barking of a student in the hallway, reminding me that kids are kids and that I should remain fun and lighthearted- even in my olding age. I hear funny slang and words that I will inevitably integrate into my own vocabulary out of pure osmosis, not necessarily appreciation. I hear names of children that are poetic and interesting, some, often, one of a kind. I hear students saying nice things to each other, challenging stereotypes and underestimations. I hear questions and challenges and protests and inspiration. I hear the congratulations of an almost forgotten woman who once changed the history of this country: as we are trying to do again.

What place inspires you to write a letter of appreciation?

welcome spring

2010-04-30T14:24:00.002-04:00

I wasn't actually hibernating. I was finishing up being a pseudo administrator (which bored me to tears and stifled my inspiration and this blog), travelled this lovely country for the first time, and started working at a new job - which was busy and whirlwindy.

But, recently I have been feeling the need to get back into writing about teaching, and although it seems irresponsible, or worse, indulgent, to come back to my blog after so long, I am doing it.

Things I learned so far this year:

It is possible to expect a lot from students and get what you want. Finally teaching at a school where all the teachers care the same amount and speak in the same tone about the same core values actually changes a students propensity for learning. I have no data, but this is a fact.
It is possible to teach students traditional things that the government requires without spending too much time on it and without stifling student passion/learning.
It is possible to get a job in the NYC public schools where the administrators are smart, competent and lovely at the same time.
It is possible to create a positive nerdy class culture with a group of kids who might otherwise not buy into that.
It is possible to expect that our students will show up, pass regents, and score well regardless of our "lack of structure."
It is possible to get working professionals in the city to take part in the raising of this city's children. (someone's gotta do it)

For more information click here

Learning

2009-05-22T10:12:00.005-04:00

The self-education projects are going extremely well. My drawing is struggling. I am not very good, but I keep trying. I recognize my (and my students) blogging has ceased to exist, however, the other elements of this experience are thriving.

Anyone know the Williamsburg bridge? I ride my bike across this bridge to and from work (recently) and also do runs over the bridge for exercise. You can't cross this bridge without seeing a hip biker with one of those funny little hats, I always wonder about these- are they simply fashion? They don't keep the sun out of your eyes with those bills flipped up like that, so what is the purpose? On May 15th, ride your bike to work day, I encountered many bridge partiers at 8:30 am drinking coffee, giving out bananas, pumping air into people's tires. They were all wearing the hats. I wanted to ask, but was embarrassed.

Yesterday, I was riding home contemplating the hats, as always, when the large-billed, slightly baggy, traditional baseball cap flew off of the man's head riding in front of me. Eureka!

Learning.

(And it is always good to remind myself that I get embarrassed asking questions that I think might sound stupid)

Self-Education Projects

2009-04-23T15:06:00.005-04:00

"This is Paulo Freire. He was a philosopher. One of his theories was the Banking Theory. This is the concept of Education in which the student was viewed as an empty account to be filled by the teacher. He thought transference of facts was wrong and you should teach yourself sometimes. In other words, he thinks you should self-explore. And self-educate." - E.C. 2008

This was written by one of my student's last year. Attached to this blurb was a drawing of Mr. Freire (a sketch of this picture) along with the heartwarming caption "you don't have to look like this to be a philosopher." E taught himself about Freire by not only reading parts of the Pedagogy of the Oppressed, but by reading about Freire's life and travels and political struggles. E was a junior reading at an elementary school level at the time, but allowed his passion for Freire to guide his struggle through reading. I just watched.

It's self-education time of the year. The self-education project was designed and piloted by a co-worker and myself during my first spring at Auto, and I have revised, improved upon, and tweaked it over the past 4 years. I always like to do my own self-education project with the students, and this year I want to learn how to draw. Part of my project will be blogging about my learning journey because a) its my way of holding myself accountable, b) I am interested in learning about self expression through art vs. self-expression through writing (can I become good at art?), and c) I want my students to blog.

Tonight is my first drawing class (perhaps not self-ed, per se, but definitely something like it) Some other self-ed topics this year are: gender identity, diamonds, reading facial expressions, muscle cars, war, and music. It's going to be a very fun and enlightening spring. Feel free to take this opportunity to teach yourself something you have always wanted to learn about. I can send some guidelines if you are interested.

dreams of my mother

2009-03-10T10:16:00.004-04:00

I recognize that i haven't posted in a while. Here are a few words from the other miss best.

This is my mom's response to this article published today in Newsday. Generally I find it difficult to get too angry at the writers at Newsday - they are blatantly biased and generally ridiculous. But, this seems worth sharing.

After reading today's letters to the editor, I didn't know where to begin. But the last paragraph of the editorial now seems like the perfect place. "Nowhere in the phrase 'fair share' is there room for a special class to remain untouched by this economic turmoil, simply because of its political power." You are absolutely right! So while we Long Islanders, including teachers who live and work and yes, pay taxes, here, are bailing out companies who turn around and use our money for bonuses and other perks, Newsday feels teachers should also give up their negotiated pay increases and benefits.

I have had this argument for years - the teachers union is a negotiating body . They are only one side of the negotiation - the school district also has to agree with the final outcome. If the districts agree to pay increases, why do you bash the teachers? As we have learned through the greed shown by the bankers on Wall Street, no one is going to turn down a pay increase. Especially not when your real estate taxes are sky-high, health insurance is out of reach and there are threats of lay-offs.

One reader wants teachers to "prove" that they're worth their salary. How can this be done? Seriously, No Child Left Behind is not the answer - test scores are not the answer because a child can be taught to pass the test, but is that education? What about the good teacher who does not get along with administration (usually because the teacher is more concerned about the students than about covering his butt). Wouldn't it be an easy way for the administration to get rid of the pain in the neck teacher? And mostly, what about the parents? When teachers were hard on my children, I was upset. Often, I learned, it was because the child needed to be pushed to achieve his potential.

Yes, there are some bad teachers, there is no denying it. But I refuse to agree that teachers on the whole are overpaid, or that they should give up a hard won raise because the politically powerful in Washington gave away the country over the past eight years.
Eileen Best

Reading my mom's words compels me to ask:
education: nature or nurture?

The EduCondition

2009-01-28T18:49:00.001-05:00

Wrote this Sunday (posted today)

EduCondition: The compulsion to talk to talk to talk about education; normally found in teachers, administrators, students, and laymen.

Chris Lehmann just said "I'm tired of hearing my own voice." I feel the same. I am tired of talking, listening, having the same conversation over and over again. I am having a serious epiphany about my saying/not doing habits. What I will take with me from this weekend is action.

Things that I want to do:

1. More project based learning

2. Get and use available technology

3. Resisting the tendency to be bullied into mediocrity

4. Have a meaningful parent conference at Auto to discuss literacy, establish parent-teacher-student book clubs, and inquire about what parents want their students to learn.

5. Post humanities curriculum maps on a wiki so that we know what other teachers are doing.

Today:

1. On Monday I requested a promethean board (we will see!)

2. Yesterday I started two wikis- one for literacy handouts that all teachers can access/add to/delete from if they are working on particular strategies. Another for humanities curriculum maps so we can see what each other are up to, make suggestions, praise, question, learn. Very exciting!

I also spent all day grading New York State Regents exams. It's very frustrating that in my (and my colleagues) inspired attempts to be better/more transparent/accessible and relevant teachers at Auto, we are road-blocked by the state, who fails to realize that it is not OK to have our students write essays on straw bale house construction and why people should eat whole foods.

obamatop

2009-01-22T23:55:00.008-05:00

topdog/underdog
My brother is a teacher. One could argue that his school is progressive. His school is also holding a conference this weekend. A bunch of educational greats are flocking to his city, school, and currently, his dinner table. Although I am usually pretty envious and slightly intimidated by the circle of educational elite that he tends to rub elbows with, when he texted me tonight that he was dining with people who could bring justice to the educational system in America, my reaction surprised me.

While reading his text I was "dining" at the same time with my colleagues. I looked around at the motley cru that are the teachers of Automotive - that are brilliant and capable and active and interested and passionate, respectful, hopeful, realistic, tough, tough, rough, sensitive- with no desire for policy, politics, popularity. I am not establishing a dichotomy, mind you, but as a borderline megalomaniac it felt good to be humbled by the efforts of some awesome teachers who strive to be awesome teachers. {NOTE: my brother falls into this category.}

At the table were the two music teachers- we were celebrating the 4th annual winter concert. I can remember the 1st because I was also a first year teacher when Ms. Weinert wowed everyone by not only writing grants to obtain instruments to START a music program but taught 5 classloads of kids to play instruments well enough to have a concert in about 5 months. Tonight, the 4th annual, was the best ever, with tight, concise, quality numbers.

Also at the table were the two football coaches, a teacher who started a garden on the front lawn of our brooklyn high school to teach about local produce and eating healthy, the man who single-handedly is responsible for making sure every senior graduates and goes to college, as well as another man who is the bowling coach amongst 87 other things. Mostly, we sit around and talk about how to teach.

If there is a way for my brother's colleagues to devise a plan to make things easier for us, I support them. And I regret saying, in that single moment of fleeting jealousy, that we would kick their asses. which we would.

Films
The films that I mentioned a while ago were completed today. When I find the words to describe the pride of the students I will write about it.

Obama
The pride of the films is actually comparable to inauguration day. J walked into the class and said "Miss Best, can you believe I have a Black President?" with a dignity uncommon in 16 year old boys. O, summarized the day's activities (all dedicated to the inauguration) brilliantly:

"Miss, everyone says we are giving this so much attention because he is the first Black President and he is breaking barriers and opening opportunities, blah, blah"

I replied, "do you believe that? Or are you just saying what people have been feeding you all day?"

O says "people have fed me that, and I spit it back out for you. But mostly, I swallowed it."

And he has the most genuine, innocent, contagious smile of all the lovely boys.

conveyor belts and bike lanes (ED.)

2009-01-07T21:58:00.003-05:00

Conveyor Belts

In college I took Sociology 101. At Hunter College this means a packed 200 person lecture led by a very captivating, tall, bald, gay, dark-skinned Puerto Rican man. I think he was a pretty good teacher, or at least I remember he was interesting to listen to, but alas! after about five years (really? 5?!) I only remember one story he told. In in an attempt to explain the exasperating mountain that is American race-relations, this professor boiled it down to an epiphany he once had at an airport. Here is the short version:

He was sitting in a waiting area for a flight while watching people race down the conveyor belt towards their gates. From the waiting area he focused on an elderly Black woman walking along on the side of the conveyor belt, as some people often choose to do. As more and more people flew past her on the belt, he realized that they conveyor belt is actually a symbol for whiteness, and that Black people in America can't progress as quickly as the White population do because they are lacking the "privilege" of the belt.

Bike Lanes

I get irrationally angry while riding in bike lanes. It's kind of like eating too much. The option of the bike lane seems so sweet, but it always ends up leaving my physically pained. I think the reason I get so mad is because no one cares about it. Everybody treats it like a double parking lane. That is not an exaggeration. On 5th Avenue in Park Slope, as well as 9th St., I have been honked at my cars trying to drive in the bike lane. What is the point of having a bike lane, a false sense of hope and acceptance for non-standard transportation users, if it is going to be used purely to prove that there really is no safe or supportive space for us?

EDIT (1/22/09)

both of these can and can't be applied to education. I have received interesting feedback about the illusion of educational progress, the inherent racism of both education and my interpretation, about the issues surrounding the attempts to compare education with such trite and inconsequential things as conveyor belts and bike lanes. I say. cool, i'm glad we are thinking about things.

hey, you never know

2008-12-10T22:01:00.004-05:00

win
We have chosen two scripts in my elective class and one script in my literacy block that will be produced and filmed. My elective class decided on "Godfather Part 4" and a lovely underdog script with the working title "Weez." I gave the students a checklist of what decisions they needed to make and other preproduction planning points, allowed them to group around what film they feel most passionate about (about 60% opted for "Godfather Part 4"- by far the most demanding of the scripts), and watched them choose leaders, map out responsibilities and creatively brainstorm their vision. They didn't need me for one thing. Pretty Sweet. I am looking forward to tomorrow.

lose
I know better. I know that even though they read at a 7th grade level and will have to pass the English Regents (not just a 55 anymore folks!) in order to graduate, if I have a lesson that is straight up Regents prep, there will be mutiny. I tried anyway. Bad for many reasons: yesterday we announced the winner of their script contest (Shout out to one of the only female students in the building for taking this grand prize) so kids were curious about this, and also because its Wednesday and raining and hot, and the Regents is brutally boring and biased and difficult to justify.

So, when you mix together this temultuous combination of poor planning, poor weather, poor morale, and poor readers, terrible things happen.

I'm not sure why he ever decided to announce that his sister was a porn star. He did it months ago. I didn't know whether to believe him or not, but that wasn't even the issue: at a school with a 98% male population, you dont even mentioning having a sister if you hope to avoid the constant barrage of not so coy hints about what other boys are doing with her. Why he said she was a porn star, I will never know, but it pretty much blew over and I hadn't heard of it again until today.

I'm not sure if the class actually researched and found her or just said they did to strike a nerve, but it worked, and after ten minutes of laughing and secretly whispered jokes, he broke down. And cried. I'm not sure if you have ever seen a 16 year old boy cry, I have only seen it a few times, but it is desperately the saddest vision imaginable. And he couldn't stop. And the class started to feel bad, and blame each other in their sorry attempts at washing blood off their hands.

This isn't just any kid. This is a self-proclaimed class-clown who isn't funny- but is brilliant, who unsupported, and confused. He is without any role-model or any real connections. To watch him cry was to experience a serious failure. He needs help more than most students I meet and he should not be made to cry, not by bullies, or friends even. Most importantly, not in my class, in my presence, where it is my responsibility for a safe and productive learning environment. Teenagers are tricky, but still, this was a disaster.

A big time loss today.

learning, discipline, and dessert

2008-12-03T19:26:00.006-05:00

On Learning

Sitting in grad school class allows me to pinpoint when I am not learning, and why I am not learning. Like every student, I don't learn when I am uninterested, I don't learn when something is being taught merely for the sake of it, I don't learn when I feel disrespected by the teacher, and I don't learn when I am tired, cranky or hungry. And, like most students, the utterly useless justification of "you have to go to school" doesn't make sense to me. why do I HAVE to go to school?

How often do I consider my students' needs? I attempt to make learning fun, but probably fail a lot. I try to make lessons and content relevant. I think that my students understand they gain from my class more than just time clocked on the way to graduation (or desertion), but realistically, this is probably not true. Tomorrow I am going to have them walk around more: instead of creating group "posters" to communicate their investigations of "witch hunts" in recent history, they are going to create murals - artistic interpretations of their new-found knowledge using water colors, markers, crayons, colored pencils, an array of magazines for collaging, pictures of related figures, maps. They will stand while creating.

I usually say graduate school is useless, but while sitting and hearing a lecture for three hours, I get to imagine what I wish I was doing in class, and subsequently create fun lessons for my students. They must really like Thursdays.

On Discipline

I keep meaning to write this post. I think it is painfully obvious that awesome lessons beget awesome classroom management. Within the first few minutes of a lesson, if paper is flying and someone is screaming, its clear that I have failed in producing a quality lesson. When I was a first year teacher, I understood this, but it took me a very long time to get on top of it. I am still working on it. What helped was the small comfort that came with knowing I was a first-year teacher and that things would eventually get better.

This year, two first year teachers have created, and legitimized through the deans office, a detention center. (One commented that the students "need some sort of discipline.") Students who behave poorly (according to these first year teachers' perspective of poorly) will be required to stay after school for detention. If they miss or postpone detention three times, they get suspended. I know it may seem shocking that this has never been in place at our school before, as it clearly seemed to them, and I am very curious to see how it goes. Here are my thoughts/concerns:

Instead of blaming students and punishing them, I blamed myself and worked creatively to make my situation better.
Suspension as a freshmen leads to missed classes, lost credits, and a higher chance of dropping out.
Often, the idea of discipline at school is culturally biased and subsequently, ineffective.
Why mold students to be quiet cookie cut-outs?
There is no easier way to alienate an entire class than to adopt the "well, if you can't handle this assignment, than your going to have to..." attitude. As if its the students that can't handle the assignment, not the other way around.

I have made all of these mistakes, and still do, quite often. which leads to...

Am I too easy on my students?
Are our high expectations and liberal thinking about punishment allowing students to get away with academic laziness?

cool project, cool student

I teach an elective for juniors and seniors. currently we are writing 8-10 minute short films. That equals about 8-10 pages of writing. They are in the revision process and this weekend their films will be anonymously judged by 7 volunteers who will choose the two best. We will storyboard, film, edit and screen these two films as a class.

Today, I was reading the second draft of one student's film. It was funny, had a natural story arc, it was modern, it offered a little social commentary, and it was entertaining. It was written by a senior, who may not graduate, does very little work, and is quiet and interesting. We read through the second draft, I offered criticism (which he took eagerly!), and finally complimented him on his work. He smiled and instead of saying something expected like "yeah i know miss," he said "can you believe i wrote this much? i don't even know how i did it. i forget doing it."

His amazement at his accomplishment was so real and vast, and new! that he didn't even realize how awesome the quality was, or that he can be proud of his thoughts and writing skills. I am going to refrain from harping on the symbolism of this moment for him, and so many of our students, and just point out that even though there is something extremely sad about it, it was definitely shining bright.

yo miss meditation

2008-11-25T20:04:00.002-05:00

miss. what a (*) word. at once a derogatory name for unwed Austens, a condescending term (used by men and other bitter elders) for both misbehaving youths and females smarter than most not-so-youths. First year teaching, i would 'correct' the term "miss" by replying with "miss best" or even worse "ms best." It didn't catch.

I first viewed this dismissal of my preference as rude and insulting. until i realized my request was both rude and insulting.

I now view my students dismissal as appropriate and valuable. Equally, every time a student asks me to call him by a nickname (usually a gang name) i dismiss it and call him by his government. I used to feel guilty about it. I now think its valuable to be called by what the masses will tend to call you. It keeps you grounded, realistic, and focused. Individuality is a luxury of wealth.

I love being called miss. it is a respectful term of endearment. As with any word that I hear, and use, I can decipher connotation as well as my students. I know when miss can mean "you are my teacher" and "I need to drop some serious whine on you" and "shut the f up right now please" and "thank you."

I beg of you. Miss. Miss Best.

*ubiquitous, oppressive, arid, exhausting, constant, rich, poor, dire, etc.

the 718 my homework

2008-11-18T20:40:00.000-05:00

report card grades. that is the question.

I am not merely speaking of teachers grading students, but administrators grading teachers, chancellors grading administrators, mayors, NCLBers, bleck, blah.

I have a lovely student, O.H. He is responsible, does his homework, classwork, thinks deeply, asks great questions, makes jokes, smiles big, loves his mother. He is unfortunately struggling with a learning disability that makes it almost impossible for him to read anything. The system is such that if we test him for a learning disability he will immediately be placed in a special ed class with other learning disabled, as well as emotionally disabled, students. This will limit him in too many ways to express in this post (but thinking people can probably imagine). Unfortunately, we do not have a reading specialist or anyone qualified enough to help O with his problems, so the best answer is to put him in my 15 student, 90 minute (thats a double block, yo!) literacy class where he can get literacy instruction and me! I support this because any other option would be inadequate, as long as he remains a poor immigrant and a student in the NYC school system.

Obviously, he is a shining example of why grades don't work. What grade do you give him? Does he take care of all assignments? yes. Does he read like a 10th grader? no. Does he understand concepts? yes. Can he communicate them through writing? no. Does he have a vast vocabulary and use words comfortably and fluidly in sentences? yes. Can he spell basic sight words on a 3rd grade reading list? no.

Take this other situation. If a student clearly understands a learning target, can communicate through debate or writing what his position is, but still doesn't do his homework, should he be penalized? If the idea of homework (or my idea) is to practice ideas, or explore deeper, or show me that the concept is being grasped, and this student clearly executes all of this a few yards before his classmates, (and knows it!) should i hold it against him? (especially when he has a job, and a little sister to pick up from school....)

methinks the 718 his homework.

Teaching in the 718

2008-11-16T19:43:00.000-05:00

I read edu-blogs. Here I will venture into writing territory:

1. I was reading dy/dan last week and he was recommending this blog for an edublog award - "posthumously." I used to read teaching in the 408 quite frequently last year and was worried that Kilian Betlach had actually died. Apparently in my time off from the blog, this lovely man actually just quit teaching, and thus only his chronicle died. arguably.

2. I feel very connected to 408's teaching experience, and looking through his collection of exceptional past posts made me feel connected to the man as well. I feel his frustration on lack of professionalism , as i believe most thinking teachers must, I feel even more frustrated knowing that he quit.

3. While it is clear that a major revolution must take place in order for teachers to get the training, support, and everything else they (sometimes) deserve, it is even more obvious that this is not going to happen for quite some time. Just last Wednesday I read a letter from our beloved Chancellor Joel Klein regarding the $181 million budget cut this year and the $385 million cut from next year's budget.

4. How do you continue to work in a system that resembles a drunk dizzy race? You remember that no matter how infuriated you are about the consistent shortcomings and poor decision making, students still have to come to school.

5. I love Geoffrey Canada. He recognizes how to make change.

6. After this I will grade writing assignments, fill out report card grades, plan lessons, and make a salad for tomorrow. what will you do?